she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
