I wanna bring you to show and tell
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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