I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
