His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Everything about him screamed your future.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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