so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
