I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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