so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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