you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize