iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
