Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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