She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
