I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
