He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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