it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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