Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
