The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
