new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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