I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
