She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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