On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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