In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
