it was like his penis was on wheels.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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