Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
