Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
