He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
they're like a gay fantastic four
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
