he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
