There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
