My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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