I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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