Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
