LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
