you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
