He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
