i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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