I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize