She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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