Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
