All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
