I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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