New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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