dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
