so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
