U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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