That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize