if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
