I think I am morally bankrupt
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
