I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
