you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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