On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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