I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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