Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
