i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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