I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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