Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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