You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
