The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
