why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
