I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
