You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
